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* This blog post was originally an email on August 31, 2019 *

Since the last LL newsletter, Eva has remained in a coma in critical condition. Some moments have been joyful and full of hope, and others have felt scary and sad. The stories pouring in from people who have cared for loved ones with a traumatic brain injuries say yes, that's what it feels like in the immediate aftermath: a roller coaster of emotions that all feel ultimate. 

It's a doctor's job to report facts and information as accurately as possible, and no one begrudges them for it. But the news they've had to convey has often been difficult to hear. Eva's ICP (internal cranial pressure) numbers rose after the 72-hour mark, when they were expected to go down, and remained higher than hoped. 

But. Eva's case has been "off the charts" in a lot of ways—not adding up exactly as it should, which does feel hopeful. And as of this past Thursday (August 29), her medical team decided to turn off her sedation medicines. This is a really big step. Her doctor said, "Now we're not treating the numbers. We're treating her."

In all of the sadness and fear, Lindsay and Dugan remain steadfast in prayer and faithful in hope. We are all believing the very, very best—which is that this precious, creative, bright little girl is on her way back to us, healed and whole.

As I was compiling this newsletter, an LL advisor (Laura, our photographer and stylist, and a dear friend of Lindsay's) texted me a screenshot of Romans 5:1-5. The last verse, especially, brought me to tears: 

"And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

Hope does not put us to shame.

On that same note, a longtime LL customer recently sent me a link to a blogpost that Lindsay wrote in 2013. In the post, Lindsay shared that she had been talking with a friend who had a high-risk pregnancy, and her friend (Steph) said, "I've realized that I'll never regret having hope." Lindsay wrote:

"I don’t know why awful things happen to amazing people… why incredible women get cancer, or struggle with infertility, or depression, or have miscarriages. The only hope I have is in Christ. And when the reality of the world settles in, and I start to not have faith and not pray, and not believe for the best, I think about Steph. And I think “I will never regret having hope.” And in that hope, I do believe that we can have power in the face of adversity."

As soon as I saw the art print in that blog post (long discontinued), I knew Lindsay's customer was right and we needed it back in the shop.

When I couldn't find it in Lindsay files, I contacted Lindsay's printer, who responded within the hour with the art file, which I then sent it to Hannah, who pulled colors from Eva's Collection to use for the lettering and collated all the color versions into a single PDF. While I taught myself how to create a new SKU and add a printable into the delivery app (things Lindsay has always done herself), I sent the PDF to Laura and Beth in hopes that one of them could create some images of it on short notice. They both did. 

When I asked Beth to snap some pictures of it, she said, "I don't have any cardstock!" I told her, "Just print it on printer paper—Lindsay does it all the time!" Whether you print this on fancy paper and frame it, or print it on printer paper and tape it to a door, I hope it inspires hope and peace as you continue to pray for Eva.

Each day since releasing the Eva Love Collection, a different piece from it has been on my heart. First it was "Beauty from Ashes Abstract." Then, after Lindsay shared what she imagined Eva is experiencing right now in her coma, it was "Rainbow Daydreams Abstract." After that gorgeous pink sunrise that Lindsay saw outside her home, it was "Eva Sky Abstract." 

Today it's "Big Colorful Dreams," which Lindsay used to offer in a blanket and now offers as artwork. Lindsay wrote in the product description: My sweet Eva Love came up with the fun idea for this Rainbow Dreams Blanket! It's her absolute favorite thing to snuggle with, and I hope your little loves will enjoy it just as much!

It shouldn't surprise me, and yet it does, just how high people will rise to a situation this overwhelming. Every prayer said in a group or in private, every comment and message (seen or unseen), every purchase big and small, every donation... all of it adds up, and all of it is making a real difference.

Just as I was getting ready to send this, Lindsay shared some really hopeful news going into today. Even if you're not on Instagram, you can read it here.